Lost then Found and the Honest Truth about Doodlers




This week I graduated from the Leadership Development Program where I work. The program took about 10-15 hours a week of my time over the last 4 months, most of which I had to do at home, except for the meetings which were about 4 hours a week. I felt a bit of pressure to apply for the program as I have routinely refrained from applying for any other jobs or promotions, primarily because I love my job. It is a good fit for me and my family. I prescribe to the adage if it ain't broke don't fix it. I took the class as a way to explore my own motivation for retaining the status quo. To critically examine if my attachment to my current job was out of love of mission or out of love of comfort and fear of change. I am proof that a confirmed eye-rolling cynic can learn a few new tricks. Surprisingly after 4 months I answered that question and much more. I learned much about how I interact with others (Imagine my surprise to learn I was not perfect :) ) and more importantly I learned that there are times when I need to modulate my own natural tendencies. I had a face to face meeting with our instructor and he said something to me that was one of those gotcha moments and has me chewing cud (ruminating). For me Frustrated =Pissed Off. I actually smiled when he said it as I recently posted a blog over at Jumbo Petite about being pissed off and how pissed off generally resulted in action for me. It was like a sound and much needed slap in the face. I have always prided myself of being slow to anger, even-tempered, pragmatic and somewhat logical. I hate conflict and will try every work around to avoid conflict(likely some Freudian thing and I probably know the why-perhaps another story for another day), conflict shuts me down. I knew this on some level already as I generally tell people after about 3 tries on my part, I shut down, I no longer hear you. I also learned that sometimes when I get pissed off, I do my best work. The doodle the one I did as I was listening. I have to put a plug in for the honest truth about doodlers. Doodlers pay attention and are generally intelligient; check out these articles, Time and this one on a teachers website. I had left my notebook at the training facility and was bereft that I had lost both my doodle(inside cover of spiral) and my notes from the training, thankfully someone had picked it up and when I sent out a mass email it came home. Honestly it was the doodle and not the notes that had me bereft. I have a friend who calls them art, and I insist on calling them doodles, my reaction to the loss of one was much like losing a part of me. How silly am I. This doodle sparked a poem. When it is ready, perhaps I will share.